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Archive for January, 2010

>The Old Man and the Dog

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By Catherine Moore
 
“Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!” My father yelled at me,

“Can’t you do anything right?” 
Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn’t prepared for another battle.  “I saw the car, Dad. Please don’t yell at me when I’m driving.”
 

My voice was measured & steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.

 

Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the TV and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him?

 

Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon . He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often.
 The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess.
 

The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn’t lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn’t do something he had done as a younger man.


Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing.

 

At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived. But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor’s orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.
 

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm.. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust.
 

Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue.

 

Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad’s troubled mind.

But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.
 

The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered in vain.

 

Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, “I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article.”

 

I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home.. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

 

I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen a dog  in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world’s aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed.

 

Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

 

I pointed to the dog. “Can you tell me about him?”

 

The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement. “He’s a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we’ve heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow.” He gestured helplessly.

 

As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. “You mean you’re going to kill him?”
 
“Ma’am,” he said gently, “that’s our policy. We don’t have room for every unclaimed dog.” I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. “I’ll take him,” I said.
 

I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch. “Ta-Da! Look what I got for you, Dad!” I said excitedly.

 

Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. “If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don’t want it” Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.

 

Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples. “You’d better get used to him, Dad. He’s staying!”
  Dad ignored me. “Did you hear me, Dad?” I screamed.
 

At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.

 

We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.

 

Dad’s lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal.

 

It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne . Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne ly ing quietly at his feet.

 

Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad’s bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne ‘s cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father’s room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

 

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad’s bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad’s peace of mind.

 

The morning of Dad’s funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have
entertained angels without knowing it.”
 

“I’ve often thanked God for sending that angel,” he said.

 

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article.

 

Cheyenne ‘s unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. . . his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father, and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.

 

Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

 




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>How To Add Tremendous Value To Your Home

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New kitchen appliances look sleek and save on energy.New kitchen appliances look sleek and save on energy.
#10: TOP KITCHEN PROJECT: Upgrade AppliancesThe kitchen is one room where upgrades almost always bring a large return on investment. However, you don’t have to gut your kitchen and tackle a major remodel to add value. One way to improve your kitchen is to simply replace your old appliances. Stainless steel is the current standard, but you don’t have to buy the $9,000 commercial-quality Viking range or the most expensive Sub-Zero refrigerator. Any updated appliances will look better, run better, and give your kitchen more appeal.

NEXT: #9 The Top Bathroom Project >>

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>Is The Housing Recession Over?

> Some people argue that because certain properties, such as Bernie Madoff’s, New York Hampton’s beach house sold for more than list price that the recession is over.
Not necessarily true. You see, this recession in many faceted, not monolithic.

We have, for example, more of a problem with properties in Keene’s Point in Windermere Florida than we do in nearby Tilden’s Grove. Granted, some of the homes in Keene’s Point are several million dollar homes. But each area, each locale and each state and nation has varrying degrees of recession and it won’t all be over at the same time. Here are some stories from New York about Madoff’s property.

Hamptons Real Estate Blog

the most talked about topic on the east end
You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Montauk’ category.

WSJBeard

Eric Striffler for The Wall Street Journal

This WSJ article about Peter Beards Montauk house is reminicent…check out the slideshow as well…md

The Original Hamptons Party House

Peter Beard’s Long Island property evokes memories of its sybaritic past

By  HANNAH KARP

There are few signs of the property’s wild past as an epicenter of the 1970s Studio 54 scene, when the likes of Mick and Bianca Jagger, Jacqueline Onassis and Andy Warhol converged here and helped transform the Hamptons into a glittery second stage for bold-faced Manhattanites. see the rest here

http://moneywatch.bnet.com/

Bernie Madoff’s Beach Home Sells For More lg_iglink_130x100Than List Price

By Ilyce Glink | Sep 17, 2009 |
Guess the home sale pundits were wrong: Bernie Madoff’s beach house location is worth more – not less.
A spokeswoman for Corcoran, the listing agent, confirmed today that Bernie Madoff’s Montauk, NY beach house went under contract for more than its $8.75 million list price. She didn’t have information on when the property would close or how much more than the list price the buyer or buyers were paying.
The sale is bound to raise some eyebrows and heighten suggestions that the housing crisis has turned the corner. Over the past year, sales in the Hamptons, some of the most expensive and exclusive property east of Aspen, Colorado, have slumped. The few properties that have sold have taken a big beating on price.
But as Wall Street goes, so do home values in the Hamptons, not to mention Manhattan. While Madoff’s 3,000 square foot beach house was spectacularly located (the house was built closer to the water than current building codes allow), the truth is that Wall Street now has a quarter or two of immense profits under its belt.
Profits = bigger salaries and bonuses. And bigger salaries and bonuses often translates into real estate purchases. If the money men (and women) of Wall Street believe that New York (or Hamptons) real estate is undervalued, and they have bonus cash in their pockets, you can expect them to pounce.
Does the Madoff beach house sale signal a true end to the housing crisis? Maybe. Let’s wait and see what his and Ruth’s co-op sells for.

by papagallery.com/Montauk_Point_6-01y.jpg




“The locals and longtime summer regulars are bitter about interlopers turning Montauk
into an eastern expansion of East Hampton. The arrivistes—Kelly Bensimon, Amanda Hearst, Andre Saffir, and legions of others who only a few years ago, never would have ventured West of the canal or East of Napeague Stretch—are there for the very thing the locals fear they’ll destroy. The newcomers want to outrun the development they wrought. The barbarians are at the gate, and they’re wearing Givenchy jeans and Ed Hardy T-shirts. They love the light, the air, the natural beauty, but they bring with them the market for trendy shops and, eventually, Starbucks, Blockbusters and CVS. When the chain stores arrive, stalwarts and recent arrivals alike will decry that the place isn’t what it used to be together, and wish they could move further east, to find some place more pure, more authentic, that doesn’t have a Coach store next to a Gucci store next to an Elie Tahari. The problem is, after Montauk, there’s nowhere further east to flee.”

Coming to The End: Montauk’s Indian Summer Dies Out

September 04, 2009

Corcoran Consolidates East Hampton Offices

One month after closing two East End offices, Corcoran is now consolidating its two Main Street offices in East Hampton.

The Surf Lodge in Montauk Opens for the Season on May 15

Summer is officially upon us: the Montauk Surf Lodge will be opening for business starting on May 15th. The Hamptons hotspot has been accepting rezzies since April 15th, and…

23% drop in prices of Hamptons homes
New York Daily News – New York,NY,USA
HOME PRICES in the Hamptons, the oceanside playground for the rich and famous, are plummeting. The financial crisis that fueled 23000 lost jobs on Wall

In Southampton Epley, McGann And Robinson Make Bids For Third Terms
Hamptons.com – Southampton,NY,USA
“Twelve years ago, the Hampton Road firehouse was inadequate,” Robinson offered, explaining that improvements have still not been made.

Have the Hamptons lost their cachet?

The Real Deal, New York, NY
Hamptons Home Prices Plummet 23% as Summer Home Demand Cools
Bloomberg – USA
By Oshrat Carmiel April 23 (Bloomberg) — Home prices in the Hamptons, the oceanside getaway of celebrities and Wall Street financiers, plummeted in the

Hamptons, North Fork median home prices fall
Newsday – Long Island,NY,USA
BY ELLEN YAN | ellen.yan@newsday.com Hamptons and North Fork median home prices this year saw the biggest quarterly drops since a Manhattan-based appraiser

EECO Farm Offers Prime Loam For The Veggie Grower In Your House
Hamptons.com – Southampton,NY,USA
East Hampton – Most people have probably entertained the idea of starting a garden and growing their own vegetables at some point or another,

Tale Of Gin Lane Wall Stands Tall As Bricks Cave To Time
Hamptons.com – Southampton,NY,USA
According to the 2007 book “Houses of the Hamptons,” – an illustrated history of Hamptons’ estates from 1880 to 1930 written by Gary Lawrance and Anne

aaastartopnav

News reports have consistently cited a “market value” of $3.3 million since the story of the executive’s alleged $50 billion Ponzi scheme broke on Dec. 11. According to the East Hampton Town Assessors Office, the 1.2-acre parcel was last assessed in 1983 at $2.7 million.
“The value right now is based on the assessment, and this is not market value,” Jeanne Nielsen, a town assessor, said. “I’m sure it’s worth much more than that; this is a magnificent waterfront property.”

see complete EHStar story here

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>Meth Drug Overdoze

>

Meth Use and Symptoms – What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Someone Using Methamphetamines?

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Meth Drug Overdose

She was only 35 years old, the single mother of 2 young children, ages 11 and 15. I had known her only a brief time but knew enough about her to know that she had a drug addiction problem – methamphetamine use to be specific. Two nights ago this young talented photographer was taken off life support after cardiac arrest, massive amounts of methamphetamine in her system. She had promised to “stop” using on Jan, 1, 2010, and ironically, that was the day she did stop using forever, because just hours before that her life support was disconnected in the ICU. CW died just hours before her promised time to “quit drugs”.
This whole situation makes me mad, not mad at her but just mad at life. Mad that 2 little girls have to go through life without their mother because of a drug overdose. The only way I can process this senseless death is to write about it, talking about the signs and symptoms of methamphetamine use (aka commonly known as meth) – in the hopes that somewhere out there these words may help someone they love and care about, and hopefully help them get some help with their meth addiction. I will be attending a memorial for my young friend this Saturday, and this hub is devoted to her, her family and her friends.

The Many Types of Meth

Methamphetamine can come in various colors, and be ingested many different ways. By inhalation, needle, smoked and even pill form.
Methamphetamine can come in various colors, and be ingested many different ways. By inhalation, needle, smoked and even pill form.


“Meth Mouth”

Also known as "Meth Mouth", one can see how devastating the use of methamphetamine is on the body, including the teeth
Also known as “Meth Mouth”, one can see how devastating the use of methamphetamine is on the body, including the teeth

Drug Addiction Can End in Tragedy

From what I understand, in CW’s case (her name has been shortened to protect her families privacy) she had been abusing methamphetamine for about 11 years. Her family and loved ones struggled to help her over the years, but after her mother died just weeks ago, it looks like the stress and the addiction caught up to her – to end in tragedy. Despite our best efforts to help our family members, sometimes it is never enough, and family and friends should NEVER blame themselves for someone else’s drug addiction. Using drugs is a personal choice, and addiction can be very hard to kick. I know because I used to use alot of drugs back in the 70’s and 80’s, including “speed” and “crank”. The only reason I stopped is because I started having severe panic attacks. Looking back I’m glad that this happened to me because I too could have ended up like CW, despite everyone’s best intentions.
When it comes to methamphetamine, or meth, signs and symptoms can vary but any or part of these could indicate that someone you know is using:

What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Someone Using Methamphetamine’s?

Short term meth abuse symptoms can include:
rapid weight loss
dilated pupils and rapid darting eyes
increased alertness
rambling conversation
sense of well-being
user is careless in their appearance
paranoia
frequent sweating
poor personal hygiene
tooth decay
intense high
hallucinations
aggressive behavior
increased heart rate
convulsions
extreme rise in body temperature (as high as 108 degrees which can cause brain damage and death)
uncontrollable movements (twitching, jerking, etc…)
violent behavior
insomnia
impaired speech
dry and itchy skin
premature aging
rotting teeth – aka “meth mouth”

loss of appetite
bad acne on the arms,back and neck

sores and skin lesions

numbness

Methaphetamine Effects on the Mind

Methamphetamine also effects the brain and mental stability and can cause the following signs and symptoms of meth drug use:
disturbed sleep

days of staying awake
days of sleeping
excessive excitation
excessive talking
panic
anxiousness
nervousness and /or restlessness
agitation
paranoia
deception, secretiveness and lying
moodiness and irritability
absence from work or school
false sense of confidence and power
delusions of grandeur leading to aggressive behavior
uninterested in friends, sex, or food, aggressive and violent behavior
severe depression


Poll on Meth Use

Do you know anyone who uses Meth?

  • 67% Yes
  • 17% No
  • 17% I don’t know

6 people have voted in this poll.

Visible Signs of Meth Use

Methamphetamine is referred to by many names, including “Meth”, “speed”, “crank”, “chald,” “go-fast”, “zip,” and “cristy”. The smokable form of this drug is ofen called “L.A.”, “ice”, “crystal or chrystal”, “64glass”, or “quartz.”
Visible signs of meth use in a users home that may indicate methamphetamine usage:
burned aluminum foil or light bulbs that have been converted to smoking devices.
Small Ziploc baggies
cut drinking straws
butane fuel or windproof butane lighters could be an indication of use
small smoking pipes
Without intervention and rehabilitation, the long term effects of extended methamphetamine use can be devastating, and fatal as in CW’s case: Long term effects of meth use lead to:
fatal kidney and lung disorders
brain damage
depression
permanent psychological problems

liver damage
stroke
cardiac arrest
death


Early Warning Signs of Meth Use

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Photography by CW
Photography by CW

Online Help for Methanphetamine Use

If you know someone that is displaying any of the above mentioned symptoms there is alot of help online and also in most communities. Online help can be found here:
:http://www.meth-in-douglas.com/signs_of_use.htm
http://www.methabuse.net/
http://www.soberrecovery.com/links/crystalmeth.htsymtpomsml
Don’t let someone tell you they will get help later. Don’t accept later as acceptable. Tell them later could be “too late”. Later could mean dead, it could mean their children being parent less and their families devastated. If necessary, stage an “intervention” to help your loved one. It could mean the difference between their life and death. I hope reviewing the signs and symptoms of methamphetamine use have helped you in identifying and being better prepared to be on the look out for possible drug use in someone you care about. If this hub helps one person then it has served it’s purpose.
(This hub is dedicated to the family of C.W. and her children. It’s too late to help her but not too late to help someone else. May your family be comforted in the fact that you loved them very much. That your drug addiction was a powerful force and that no one is to blame…..RIP CW)
-Dorsi Diaz is a freelance/writer and publisher on the Internet.


Comments

Frieda Babbley profile image
Frieda Babbley  says:
2 days ago

This is terribly scary. The disintegration happens so fast! (I saw the photos in the link.) How terribly sad. Thorough hub. Thanks much for the info.

rvsrinivasan profile image
rvsrinivasan  says:
2 days ago

Drug addiction has become a social problem. People get into these habits. They are not able to leave. It is an evil to society. I have written certain hubs on health. May please go through these hubs.

Hello, hello, profile image
Hello, hello,  says:
2 days ago

I think the root lies with the drug dealer and drug barons. I very strongly belief there should be the death penalty. The harm they do is unmeasurable. Why let them get rich on other people’s heartache and it is a heartache. They have to live with it all their lives. It is nothing but a life sentence. It also involves robbery with violence in various forms. I am not normally a person like but in that case I think the death penalty would be the only solution and with DNA there aren’t many mistakes. People get beaten to death because they tell them not to make a racket at night, or for not given them the money, or being found in the house – broken in and mostly because of drugs. So many old people met a very violent death because they know that they can’t fight back.

Thank you for being my fan

robie2 profile image
robie2  says:
34 hours ago

A beautifu tribute to CW Dorsi and you shine a light on the uselessness of it all. I think the problem is societal denial– we all tend to make excuses for the addict and not recognize the seriousness of the addiction. Addiction is a real illness and it always ends in death unless there is real intervention and a strong desire on the part of the addict to get well– I am so sorry CW didn’t get help sooner and I hope this hub will be a wake up call for some person who reads it who either knows an addict or is one.

Elena. profile image
Elena.  says:
34 hours ago

Hi Dorsi – Thanks for writing this article, which must have been hard as hell. One of my brothers passed away of AIDS, which he got by sharing a needle to use heroine. He was 37 when he passed, around the same age as CW. He was clean in the end, and he made peace with all of us, but what useless losses and what terrible pain the families and the addicts go through. I SO understand that you are mad, I was there so many times with my brother, and supporting my mother… Hang in there is all I can say.

bearclawmedia profile image
bearclawmedia  says:
20 hours ago

This is the scurge of our society. I have spoken to smack addicts whacked out of their minds and they could always make some sense. Not with this crap biker speed. The ice, all of it, is crushing the life out of society. I have no answers only pain. Thanks for reminding me that this is still a major social question.

Nancy's Niche profile image
Nancy’s Niche  says:
5 hours ago

An informative article Dorsi and very well written considering the emotional pain you must be feeling. Meth is a horribly destructive drug both physically, mentally and socially. Drugs can tear families apart especially when death is the result…CW is at peace now and free from the devil that plagued her.

The angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hand of God. ~Quoted in The Angels’ Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994

dusanotes profile image
dusanotes  says:
49 minutes ago

Thanks, Dorsi. You described what has to be one of the most painful, degrading ways to die. And so young, too, only 37. Family to CW was very important, especially her mother, for when she died CW lost hope. After all the family can do, it is often not enough. But the teaching moments must not start when the kids are teenagers experimenting with drugs. It must start much earlier. There must be some great role models where that person lives, some great friends. Unfortunately, in many parts of America the role models are not such good models. I suspect, Dorsi, that CW had friends who used drugs and she was merely following along. Maybe they were strong enough – or got intervention and family help sooner – we don’t know. It is not for us to judge, but just to thank God and his son Jesus Christ that in the life to come, and in the spirit world, where CW resides now, there will be help in the form of people who have been through these kinds of things. It is my faith that we will have another chance to learn the truth and how we should act at a later date. All is not lost. Thanks for this important Hub. Don White

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