Washington – Now the Obama Administration is more afraid of conservative backlash over bank bailouts than it is over whether AIG remains viable. Now that America owns 80% of AIG, Obama and company doesn’t care if it succeeds or withers away.
Gaithner: But what about Harvard…?
Obama: Harvard. What a joke. I worte a lot of commie junk — that’s why I told them not to release it, I wouldn’t have been elected — but I didn’t really write anything.
Obama: No. I had all that Arab funding, you know. They hired a ghost writer for me. None of it was mine, except the ideas.
Gaithner: That I didn’t know.
Obama: But I’ve read Mein Kampf, you know, Hitler’s autobiography? And I looked up the term in WikiAnswers just this morning to remind me, so I’m on sound footing here to say there is a fine line between what Hitler did and what we’re going to do.
Obama: This is stuff even our intelligence community doesn’t know about, because they’ve never clued me in.Gaithner: What a shame. I mean, you are the president for C…sake, aren’t you?
Obama: Last time I looked. What about this Feldman?
Gaithner: Friedman. Some say he’s a phony crank. But his obsessive digging has turned up valuable information. For example, one of hisFreedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests unearthed a 1998 U.S. Army program looking at a microwave device to beam sound directly into the target’s skull which the rest of us had missed. (The same technology underlies the Medusa non-lethal weapon.)
Obama: You’ve got me. . .
Gaithner: A “Motion for an Enlargement of Time” (in other words, a request for a few more weeks) by the Secret Service’s attorney indicates that they have something, and it’s pretty secret. Has to do with protecting very high government officials. I understand that in one case, the documents . . . could not be mailed but had to be hand carried interstate. This is a G-damned FOIA request regarding this sensitive DET research.
Obama: So what is this “sensitive” technology, Tim?
Gaithner: Your SS head should be telling you this, not me. Who is he, do you know yet.
Obama: No, it’s far down the line and no one’s said who I report to — or, uh, who reports to me.
Gaithner: Simply ask one of those goons who follow you around. They know. He signs their freakin’ pay checks. Those of us in the know, which obviously excludes you, Mr. President, seem to believe — because no one knows for sure — but we can speculate. Didn’t Bush say anything about these laser dazzlers? As a means ofprotecting the White House against suicide attacks by light aircraft?
Obama: No, that dullard probably didn’t know, so now now I don’t know about it.
Obama: It dates back to1998. We don’t know if dazzlers have ever been deployed, but that would certainly explain some of the secrecy.
Portable dazzlers would also be a good way of dealing with potential snipers without the risk of harming bystanders. Other agencies also have an interest in covert dazzlers. Ex MI6 agent David Tomlinson claims a laser strobe was proposed for an assassination attempt on Slobodan Milosevic in 1992 by dazzling his chauffeur at a crucial point and causing him to crash. Conspiracy theorists claim that a laser dazzler was used to assassinate Diana, Princess of Wales — but any bright flashes more likely came from photographer’s flashguns.
Obama: You certainly are a talkin’ tech machine on this, Tim.
Gaithner: I love this stuff. If I drop the ball on the economy, please, please fire me and Panetta or Gates, then make me head of the CIA or Defense. That’s my true love, not employment numbers, GDP figures, and charts.
Obama: Okay, that’s a deal. What else do you know?
Gaithner:A portable version of the truck-mounted Active Denial System — the Pentagon’s “pain ray” — might be used to similar effect. It could cause an assailant to flinch for a vital second, giving agents an opportunity to get the President out of the line of fire, without having to shoot into a crowd. Raytheon has been working on a rifle-sized version of the Active Denial System for some years, but nothing has been heard of it recently