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I am a man writing about what goes on in the heads of women—specifically about what drives women crazy about the man they want to love. You’d be an idiot, right, if you didn’t say: “What a pompous ass! What gives men the right to think—to even THINK—they can know what goes on in the head of a woman? Females are so complicated, even genius women don’t know what goes on upstairs.”
It’s Logical For Man To Reveal Woman
They’re merely the other’s reverse image, aren’t they? The truth is this: every man knows what I know, they just haven’t thought about it long enough because it’s a reverse psychology magnet. Men don’t generally think about how women can get them heated up and what blandishments it will take to get them all worked up about someone. (And it’s not as simple as a box of chocolates on Valentines Day.) That’s a woman’s job, not a man’s. Men are too busy wondering what a woman wants and what she responds to. On the other end of the axis, women should work night and day to figure out what makes the man of their dreams tick, and that’s what this book will teach you.
A Morphological Flux of Opposites
After all is said and done, in many ways women and men are their anatomical opposites. A woman is a man turned inside out or evaginated. Theoretically, you might say if you want a female, evaginate a male. If you want a male, evaginate a female. Sure, that’s an oversimplification, but you get my drift, right?
Women are soft where men are hard; men are big, woman little, and vice versa; women remember things, men forget—but not always—women are recessive where men are aggressive; women are docile or amicable where men are hardheaded.
Not all women are soft, amicable, non-aggressive or unassertive any more than it is true to say that all men are taller and bigger than women. The truth is that some women are bigger than even their male mates—and even more aggressive, and most men are not immediately aware of this until marriage or, if you prefer, at the first private bedroom scene of a tryst when she disrobes before him. What a revelation that is! Especially for the almighty man who always thought his body was not only bigger but stronger and superior to hers.
Women may not have the strength of a man, but she has far greater endurance than man. Women endure pain better, have more patience, and are quicker to love. And that sometimes becomes a weakness, especially if the woman falls in love too fast.
However, a lot of realistic men also believe that women are more awesome than men in ways that are important. This is especially true since the first part of the twentieth century when women received the right to vote in America and so we consider them created equal in a legal sense. Thus, emancipated and somehow reconfigured, as a group they have become a more potent force. Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin were not the first women to catch the attention of a male electorate. Look at Margaret Thatcher, Indira Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, the Queen of Sheba, and Joan of Arc.
Woman—The Reverse Image of Man
Men and women, in many ways, are the reverse image of the other. So how can we say they are equal? Maybe the term “equal but different” is more accurate. In being the reverse image of the other, one is the positive image and the other the negative image of the other.
Fortunately, most men believe the image cast by a woman is far superior than that image cast by another man or you would have more men loving men, more sodomy, more imorality, and fewer children. But it is true that each gender is cast out of the other’s mold, which is the mold of the other’s cast, ad infinitum. Sexual difference is meaningless in regards to this morphological flux. So why is it a stumble into the absurd to believe that men might understand women better than they understand themselves, and vice versa? Read on—this is precisely what we are going to teach you. In a world where children are needed to repopulated society, speaking in terms of mere companionship is meaningless without sex differences. Speaking as a society, not individually, life and its regeneration is impossible without sex.
Relax, Men’s Brains Know—
Even When They Appear Clueless
There are a lot of idiot guys out there who haven’t got a clue. They don’t know what they want in a girl because many are not thinkers. When was the last time a particular guy contacted his subconscious? The only communicating he may have done was with his quixotically prodigious loins that in some guys are twice the size of their craniums.
There is a lot of good stuff stored in the silent side of the brain, but most men haven’t dug deep enough to discover it. It was Freud more than anyone else who forced us to recognize unconscious factors as significant determinants of human behavior. It seems obvious that much, if not most, of one’s brain activity occurs without our awareness.
As a woman, the first thing you need to know is this: men have preconceived ideas of what they’re looking for, not just some men but all men.
It’s etched on their subconscious. It’s indelibly imprinted on their brains. If the brain could talk it would accurately describe, in minute detail, exactly what this particular man wants in a woman.
Once a man gets in touch with his subconscious, watch out! He will move heaven and hell to marry his ideal and use her to pass on his genes. All because he is magnetically wired and attracted to her.
But the subconscious is not static. It is constantly absorbing new knowledge and ideas, and as we accept these new notions we gradually change likes and dislikes. If a man marries while a teenager, he’s likely to marry someone like who he’s been acquainted with in high school—maybe his dreamboat image. As he goes on to vocational education or college, he absorbs new ideas and ideals. His perfect image stored in his subconscious is constantly on the move—constantly making slight adjustments, ever expanding.
By the time he has completed college and started his career, if he is still single, his subconscious mind’s ideal woman may be more complex and confused. It’s a double-edged sword. The older he gets the fussier he gets and the fewer girls there are that fit his requirements. To compound the problem, most girls have married by then.
He’s likely to hitch up with someone from his immediate past associations, a college or vo tech grad, perhaps. Maybe even someone from work. It is partly because those are the only ones left—and that worries him—but, more importantly, because now he wants someone far different than that cute little thing that he had a yearning for in high school. Gradually, his likes and dislikes change, perhaps becoming more refined and sophisticated.
What’s On His Hard Drive?
Observing is a good way to learn. Men know when they’re turned on. A beautiful golden-tanned bombshell passes by on the beach and man’s electrons frantically start bursting skin seams inside his body.
Each thought is stored in his second mind, the subconscious. He can strengthen that second mind about some particular idea by thinking on it time and time again, kinda’ like he would if the bathing beauty passed by. Then when another girl with these dimensions, coloring, and gait comes by he doesn’t even have to think about it. It’s etched on his brain and it comes out automatically. He’s at ease with it; more importantly, he’s sexually turned on by it and not just once, but ever time. He, plain and simple, likes that kind of babe.
This is not rocket science.
The easy part is putting things into the subconscious, and that’s where we had better be very selective. For example, contrary what most macho male magazines have to say, the more porn men put in the brain the more confused their brains become. The same is true for women and the porn they like to view.
If the input process is easy, what’s the hard part? The more tricky part is the downloading of useful data into the conscious mind. When you attempt to download non-useful data, that’s when you get mind overload and the brain throws a pain switch and you physically and mentally become unglued and ill.
Only good, morally clean stuff should come out.
If that’s not the case, your brain soon loses its ability to discriminate between the good and the bad and you lose your focus. This is the cause of many students not being able to compete mentally in college. They just aren’t properly focused. Their brains are improperly programmed on the wrong things and porn is often one of them.
Most Men Can’t Explain Their Desires
Failure to tell someone what he wants in a girl doesn’t mean a guy can’t manufacture some verbal response when among the studs. Each of them would say they want that tall, blond (or brunette) babe with the aircraft carrier boobies. But that’s not the honest answer for many guys.
The trouble with men is that most of them can’t explain what they really want, and they feel so intimidated when talking about it that they have a built-in bias against honesty regarding both southern and northern hemispheres of the body.
The Brain’s Dot Matrix
Their brains have it stored, even if they can’t verbally access the information, and that’s what is important. The male eye creates a dot-matrix of his ideal woman and his brain processes it. This data is stored up there with all the details. Many masculine brains may include the image of the woman who is five-five to six-foot, one-twenty, blond hair, marvelous athletic figure, college educated, well traveled, multilingual, and on and on.
Now, this is a stereotypical male idea of what some men believe they want. But the truth is that only a certain men want that kind of woman.
Some men—and we’re not kidding—have implanted the idea on their brains that they want a big woman, both in height and weight, with big body parts and passions; or a short plump woman who looks like she can bake an apple pie. Believe it or not, it’s true. Or some just want a woman with a freckle on her nose, or a dimple in her chin. That woman doesn’t necessarily have to be beautiful in terms of worldly definitions.
What’s important is what the man thinks. And many of them are looking to duplicate Mom or Aunt Agnes. Quite frankly, despite not being a beauty queen, she was the greatest mom or the most engaging aunt the world ever produced.
Forget The Typical Formula Woman
Understandably, this breed of men don’t want the typical formula woman. Their image is far more complicated; but once they see that particular woman they drool over her. Anything else won’t do and they will fight, claw, kick, and risk their lives to claim her. Short of jumping off a cliff, they will do anything necessary to persuade this girl she’s his—and some of them will even consider doing that (sky diving or soaring)—with a parachute, of course. That’s because recognition in the flesh of that woman embedded on his brain’s hard drive makes him stronger than steel, crazy in love.
Even Average Lookers Have A Great Chance
The important thing for the woman to remember is that the female characteristics he loves the most might be found in an average looker. The girl he chooses doesn’t even have to be the standard definition of pretty to make goose bumps climb up his back. “Pretty” has many definitions, depending on the man and what he’s stored on his mental hard drive.
Modern Machines Can Detect Love
Love is between the ears, not the legs. The American Physiological Society reported that a team led by a neuroscientist, an anthropologist and a social psychologist found love-related neurophysiological systems inside a magnetic resonance imaging machine. They detected quantifiable love responses in the brains of 17 young men and women who each described themselves as being newly and madly in love.
“It’s a stark reminder that the mind truly is in the brain,” said Lucy L. Brown of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine. The study is impressive. It’s the first physiological data to confirm what we’ve believed all along—a connection between romantic love and motivation networks in the brain.
There will still be football studs who will try to dispute this, lamely claiming their loins have a brain of their own. These are the same guys who believe romantic love is the same as sex. The study debunks this false notion. Findings show that the brain areas activated when someone looks at a photo of their beloved only partially overlap with the brain regions associated with sexual arousal. Sex and romantic love involve quite different brain systems.
Love is a Prize
Early intense romantic love is associated with subcortical reward regions in the brain that are rich with dopamine. It also engages right brain systems associated with motivation to acquire a reward. Thus, both men and women consider their lover a prize and a reason to prance around and feel giddy.
When men fall in love, everything from early personal memories to one’s personal notions of beauty is revealed. Researchers said activation regions for intense romantic love are mostly on the right side, but facial attractiveness is left-brained. The same rush of romantic love responses apply to women when they are looking at photos of handsome men.
Romantic Love Is Stronger Than Sex
Researchers said romantic love is more powerful than sex. The longer you are romantically in love with someone, the more your brain responses mature and your brain actually changes.
The study confirmed what we always thought was true: humans have evolved three distinct but interrelated brain systems for mating and reproduction—the sex drive, romantic love, and attachment to a long-term partner. As we get older, feelings of romantic love probably change into feelings of attachment. The study supports what we’ve always assumed: romantic love is the most powerful of all human experiences—far more powerful than the sex drive.
How Do You Handle Rejection?
Depression, murder, and suicide are connected to the strength of romantic drive in some people. Most people can handle being rejected, for example. But studies found that some 40 percent of people who were rejected in love slip into clinical depression.
Like the peacock’s fancy tail feathers that attract the peahen, today’s men have in their brains the genetic code that will cause them to marry a certain woman and enable them to pass on not only their own inheritable genes, but those of their ideal woman. So don’t get excited if he jilts you, it’s because your description doesn’t fit what’s on his mind. Just find someone who possesses your genetic code.
We’re all the same in this—both men and women. As Darwin’s puzzle suggests, love is in the eyes of the beholder.
“But no one has studied what happened to the brain of the viewer, the individual that becomes attracted to these traits. Our study indicates what happens in the brain of the viewer as he or she becomes physiologically attracted to these traits.” But continued exposure to you–if you are “nice” and make a hit in so many other ways in addition to physical–will alter the man’s brain.
Believe it or not, it is true. He may not have quite the same beliefs that you do on the first date. His reaction to the date may be diametrically opposite to yours. The tragedy is that so many men and women give up on each other after only one date. If you can hold his interest a while, you’ll have him believing the same things as you. With kindness, work on his psyche, compliment and stroke his ego each time you see him. Soothing and kind remarks from a woman work wonders in the man. Try to find something you can do to help him–anything. He will like this. Especially if he still remembers how close he was to his mother or older sis who were so helpful and complimentary to him.
As you shape and mold this man to your likes and dislikes, this work of love and romance will pop and pervolate for you in his brain and in areas of his body below the belt too. Yes, men do change. At least the eager beavers and the refined gents do. And that’s a monumental statement. It comes by understanding that if you’re ever to land the one you want you need patience. Just don’t give up on him, even if on the first date he doesn’t send you those positive vibes you thought you’d get. By the same token, you must learn something from him each time you are together. If as time progresses he doesn’t come around, kindly say goodbye and move on.
He’s not you.
He’s not going to react to you the same way each time he sees you, either. So don’t get discouraged. First dates are just that, a first opportunity to get to know your future husband. Both he and you are changing. Hopefully, on the sixth to tenth date your bodies and likes and dislikes have converged so that you both see eye-to-eye and can accept each other fully.
Sons of Yesteryear
One thing your parents and grandparents had going for them were ballads, love songs sung by the likes by Jimmy Durante, Lewis Armstrong, and Nat King Cole. These songs were deeply embedded in the hearts and minds of all young men and women and, really, formed the foundation of their stereotypical true loves, their romantic yearnings, and hopes for the future.
The first three songs on the sound track for the movie “Sleepless in Seattle” featured these three stars:
For example, see if you can feel the passion in “As Time Goes By” communicated by Durante—mind pictures that may have captivated your father and mother. Originally, the music and words of that popular ballad were from the movie “Casablanca” (1942) by Herman Hupfeld:
You must remember this,
a kiss is still a kiss,
A sigh is just a sigh,
The fundamental things apply,
as time goes by.
And when two lovers woo,
they still say “I love you,”
on that you can rely,
No matter what the future brings,
as time goes by.
Moonlight and love songs,
never out of date,
Hearts full of passion,
jealousy and hate,
Woman needs man, and man must have his mate,
there’s no one can deny.
It’s still the same old story,
a fight for love and glory,
A case of do or die,
The world will always welcome lovers,
as time goes by.
Or how wonderful was “A Kiss to Build a Dream On” written and sung by Louie Armstrong?
Give me a kiss to build a dream on
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this
A kiss to build a dream on
Give me a kiss before you leave me
And my imagination will feed my hungry heart
Leave me one thing before we part
A kiss to build a dream on
When I’m alone with my fancies…Ill be with you
Weaving romances…making believe they’re true
Give me your lips for just a moment
And my imagination will make that moment live
Give me what you alone can give
A kiss to build a dream on
Do you have romantic memories? If not, build your own dreams and make believe. Do as old “Satchmo” says, “Give me your lips for just a moment, and my imagination will make that moment live.”
Imagination and make-believe are necessary ingredients to romance. Women must bring it on in their own hearts by hoping and dreaming.
On the other side of the scale, having these fantasies and dreams too early can be dangerous. In some countries, more than half of all girls under 18 are married. Specifically, the percentage of girls (aged 15 to 19) married by age 18 is:
· 76 percent in Niger
· 74 per cent in the Democratic Republic of Congo
· 54 per cent in Afghanistan
· 50 per cent in India
· 51 per cent in Bangladesh
While age at marriage is generally increasing, it is not uncommon to find girls married before age 15.
· In Ethiopia and some areas of West Africa, some girls get married as early as age 7.
· In Bangladesh, 45 per cent of young women between 25 and 29 were married by age 15.
· A 1998 survey in the Indian state of Madhya Pradesh found that nearly 14 per cent of girls were married between the ages of 10 and 14.
· In Kebbi State of northern Nigeria, the average age of marriage for girls is just over 11 years, compared to a national average of 17.
Child marriage curtails girls’ education
Studies show a correlation between girls’ educational levels and age at marriage: Higher median age at first marriage directly correlates with higher rates of girls in school. Conversely, getting and keeping girls in school may be one of the best ways to foster later, chosen marriage.
All Kinds of Women
What do we know about men and women? First, all women are not from Venus, any more than all men are from Mars. All women are not turned on by the prospects of a safe “live-happily ever-after life scenario—though security and long-lasting happiness is on the minds of most women. But women have been emancipated—or haven’t you noticed? Except in some Asian and Muslim nations. Some of them don’t want to stay home and raise the kids while hubby is flitting around all over the world visiting exotic lands selling software.
And all men don’t want to stay late at the office. Some of them are actually turned on by a woman who makes them be home at six each night sparking the barbecue; or a woman who wants him to take turns with the diapers and bottles or coach the little league team.
Women, Discover Who You Are
Some men want a half dozen kids, a big soft recliner in front of a tube, a yard to mow on Saturday, and a seductively dressed wife who can cook and light up a fire inside him with her homemade candlelight dinners. Then there are the men who, following marriage, want to remain married to their careers. What a woman must determine early on is her own tolerance for an aloof relationship. But most importantly, what she must do before analyzing this prospective “dream boat” is to discover who she is. And, generally, that’s the hardest part.
First, Know thyself .
Think: “What do I want in a man?” Then look deep within and determine how to mine that source of energy in the man you could really love ‘till the end of time’. Deep inside every man wants to be trusted. Many men wonder why it seems so difficult for their future wives to do something so seemingly simple. The answer stems from the physiological differences between the sexes.
It begins at birth when little boys are given a distinct physical advantage over little girls by having higher levels of testosterone. With testosterone comes the physical strength to both defend themselves from danger and/or run away from a threat. Most little girls don’t have that ability. They don’t have the strength or size to defend themselves in a physically fight with a man when they feel threatened.
If a boy trusts someone who in turn hurts him, he can always defend himself physically (or try to). Little girls don’t have that physical option of power. Since a person can only trust from a position of strength, those same little girls will grow up into women who naturally have a more difficult time “trusting” when they feel vulnerable.
The Subconscious Mind
Some people like Jung and Tart believe the unconscious mind is a reservoir of transcendent truths. There is no scientific evidence that this is true.
Certain acts are performed reflexively or without conscious awareness. For instance, the mind may continue thinking bad thoughts despite attempts to control them—anger, lust, jealousy, hatred, and even a desire to harm others. From where do such thoughts come? The same could be said of good or noble thoughts.
Consider this oddity: Selflessness predominates in some few special persons to the extent that these persons give up everything and start working for the welfare of the world. From where do such thoughts arise? No amount of torture or political persuasion can change or discourage a strong, spiritual man or woman.
In addition to outlawed Democracy Party members earlier, in 2007 several leaders of the Falun Gong movement were jailed after one-day trials for up to 18 years. This group gained millions of enthusiastic followers since its founding in 1992. It was officially condemned and outlawed as an ”evil cult”
Two of those convicted were Li Chang, 59, an official in the Public Security Ministry, and Wang Zhiwen, 50, an engineer in a company of the Railways Ministry, who got 16 years.
The convictions, said an announcement by the official New China News Agency, involved charges of ”organizing and using the cult organization to undermine the implementation of laws, causing human deaths by organizing and using the cult organization, and illegally obtaining state secrets.”
A dynamic offshoot of Chinese qigong, which is said to harness invisible forces to promote health and well-being, Falun Gong has been popular among retirees and middle-aged women who gathered in urban parks to practice its slow, meditative exercises. But the membership of officials and party members was a sign of the broad appeal that so frightened the national leadership. The government has been criticized for promoting a show trial that was reminiscent of ”the grim time of the Cultural Revolution” and showed ”the Chinese government’s unwillingness to respect its own Constitution and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.”
Authorities seem to have been surprised and angered that despite the banning of the group and intense propaganda describing it as dishonest and dangerous, thousands of devoted followers have remained defiant, risking their homes and jobs. Many sneaked into Beijing this fall and tried to mount protests in Tiananmen Square.
Sixteen years ago about 10 political prisoners in northeastern China planned a hunger strike protesting prison authorities in an attempt to get them to stop beating them and forcing them to work 14-hour days on a diet of hard bread and vegetables. This came from a reliable source, a Chinese woman who had been briefed on their circumstances. (Sheryl Wudunn, New York Times, Nov. 7, 1991)
The 10 were among about 35 political prisoners at a prison in Liaoning Province. They were serving sentences of up to 20 years for supporting democracy during and after the demonstrations in Tiananmen Square in 1989. They were divided up and housed with common criminals in cells packed with up to 40 men so that there was scarcely room to lie down.
How are people like these able to retain their dynamic beliefs in the face of prosecution and serious jail time?
Their strength arose from from the subconscious mind. Subconscious mind is the sum total of our past experiences. What we feel, think, or do forms the basis of our experience. These experiences are stored in the form of subtle impressions in this part of the brain, second mind, called our subconscious.
There is an old and true proverb which says, “As the twig is bent, so the tree is inclined.” There is another proverb:“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).
People whose minds and hearts have been seared with burning testimonies of Christ, including assurances of their mothers and fathers beliefs, generally revert back to those time-honored teachings when they are old. It is axiomatic–almost as if their future had been inbred into them. In many instances the teachings which form the character of a person were learned as a youth. And they keep surfacing because they are in the subconscious mind.
What Things Continue To Surface In Your Mind?
A quiet, good-looking boy in high school may have stared long and hard at a girl. Though she didn’t take conscious note of it, her subconscious did. Years later this girl, now a woman, might suddenly recall that boy and his stare. That was just an impression stored in the subconscious mind for many years. It may be interpreted as unrequited interest as, perhaps, she had an interest in him also that did not immediately come to the surface.
What caused the idea to be released years later into the conscious mind, we do not know? But it had to have a catalyst, a motivating factor. Maybe it followed a divorce. Perhaps it was her need for someone to care for her.
A poem by Robert Burns, “Anna, Thy Charms” catches it succinctly:
“Anna, thy charms my bosom fire,
And waste my soul with care;
But ah! how bootless to admire,
When fated to despair!
Yet in thy presence, lovely Fair,
To hope may be forgiven;
For sure ’twere impious to despair
So much in sight of heaven.”
These impressions interact with one another and give birth to tendencies. We become prone to react in a particular way to a particular situation or stimulus depending upon the tendencies in our subconscious mind. The result of these tendencies determines our character. Depending on the strength and nature of their character, people respond to the same stimuli or the situation in differing ways. The reaction varies according to the character of the individual.
Here’s an example: The hot summer dries up everything including the weeds in a farm and the field appears barren. Apparently there is nothing but black soil. Soon the rains soak the land and the invisible, imbeded seeds sprout up and fill the field with unwanted weeds again.
The farmer never desired to have them, but when certain conditions were fulfilled the weeds came to life. We’ve all had this experience. The weeds did not come with rainwater or from the sky, or from somewhere else; the weeds were always present in the soil in seed form.
The subconscious mind reacts likewise. There are subtle impressions—a glance, a smile, a wink—in our subconscious mind. On coming in contact with certain external factors the necessary conditions are fulfilled and these subtle impressions surface in their manifest form.
Suppose our subconscious mind is plagued with a silent unseen and unknown tendency to take alcohol, watch pornography, or to smoke. Necessary conditions in the form of a friend, a bar, a cigarette vendor, etc. would bring forth the desire to drink or to smoke. For example, the author’s father quit smoking for several months. Then he suddenly started smoking again during a traumatic event at his workplace. He was machine shop foreman at the Union Pacific on the graveyard shift. Under his direction an engine was repositioned in the shop, injuring an employee. He was not at fault, but as the leader he felt responsible and was mentally and physically shaken. In the middle of it someone offered him a smoke and, unconsciously he took it and begain smoking again to relieve the tension. This one event caused him to take up cigarettes again, something that lasted a year or two. He later was able to quit for good, but not without some considerable effort and will power.
Another person has a latent or dormant tendency to seek God. The necessary external stimuli in the form of a scriptural text, meeting a Holy person, visiting a temple (or Church,) etc. attracts him/her, and a transformation occurs. This person is totally immersed in various spiritual practices—and, perhaps, in some very unusual cases even close friends didn’t know about these subconscious stimuli, these secret desires—and suddenly her life becomes God-centered.
There never was any conscious effort or desire or thought to drink, to smoke, to watch porn or to seek God. But fulfillment of necessary conditions was responsible for activating impressions in the subconscious mind, and thus the person followed a particular behavior. Imagine how much easier it would be for someone who had seemingly quit an affliction or bad habit to return to them when they are deeply imbedded in both his conscious and subconscious.
Can you imagine how important it is for parents to keep from their children the pernicious, long-lasting damage of pornography? Sometimes all it takes is one glance, one seductive page of nude photographs to get on that slippery slope of emotional reasoning and magnification.
But what about free will? Can we not choose the way we will react to a given condition or circumstance? Yes, we can choose; but the will is not absolutely free. The will, by which I make choices behaves in accordance to my character, that sum total of all past deeds, thoughts, and feelings: The impressions not only from the present life, but also the whole record of many past lives that the subconscious mind carries.
Then is there no way out? There is. It is to follow the ‘psychology of spiritual science’. We have to empty the mind of all unwanted subconscious impressions and tendencies: the weeds. Depending on the person and the situation, it could take years of true repentance. It is almost an impossible task; almost but not totally impossible. Seeking help from the Devine is always very helpful.
It is possible to change the contents of mind (just as it is possible to sow groundnut seed so as to start replacing the weed). And as we have seen that the conscious experiences get stored up as subconscious impressions, we have to control and handle both conscious and subconscious mind. Our actions, thinking, and feeling should be such that the subconscious mind is cleansed of its dirty contents. This is much easier said than done. In a spiritual context, scripture reading and associating with good people tends to expunge some of the negative, lingering detritus.
Here Is How the Subconscious Works
The conscious mind, the one we consciously work with each day until we fall asleep, learns new things every day—either by discussing something with another person, reading about it, watching and listening on TV or observing people in the work place or in other settings.
But it is not just while asleep that the subconscious is working. It is picking up things that the man or woman sees but doesn’t think about. Some of these events translated into thoughts may be subliminal messages. There has been a reasonable amount of research completed on subliminal messaging. There is strong evidence of its power, but no conclusions that covers all media.
A subliminal message is a signal or message embedded in another object, designed to pass below the normal limits of perception. These messages are indiscernible by the conscious mind, but allegedly affect the subconscious or deeper mind. Subliminal techniques have occasionally been used in advertising and propaganda. The purpose, effectiveness and frequency of such techniques has been debated.
During World War II, the tachistoscope, an instrument which projects pictures for an extremely brief period, was used to train soldiers to recognize enemy airplanes. Today the tachistoscope is used to increase reading speed or to test sight.
Some of us recall that in 1957 market researcher James Vicary claimed that quickly flashing messages on a movie screen in Fort Lee, New Jersey had influenced people to purchase more food and drinks. Vicary coined the term subliminal advertising. He formed the Subliminal Projection Company based on a six-week test.
Vicary claimed that during the presentation of the movie “Picnic” he used a tachistoscope to project the words “Drink Coca-Cola” and “Hungry? Eat popcorn” for 1/3000 of a second at five-second intervals. Vicary asserted that during the test, sales of popcorn and Coke in that New Jersey theater increased 57.8 percent and 18.1 percent, respectively.
Vicary’s claims were promoted in Vance Packard’s book The Hidden Persuaders, and led to a public outcry and to many conspiracy theories of governments and cults using the technique to their advantage. The practice of subliminal advertising was subsequently banned in the United Kingdom and Australia and by American networks and the National Association of Broadcasters in 1958.
A study conducted by the United Nations said “the cultural implications of subliminal indoctrination is a major threat to human rights throughout the world” (Peters, Dan; Steve Peters (1985). Rock’s Hidden Persuader: The Truth About Backmasking. Bethany House Publishers, 19. Cited in U.S. Senate, page 125).
The message [of a piece of heavy metal music] may also be covert or subliminal. Sometimes sub-audible tracks are mixed in underneath other, louder tracks. These are heard by the subconscious but not the conscious mind. Sometimes the messages are audible but are backwards, called back masking.
There is disagreement among experts regarding the effectiveness of sub-liminals and we need more research. Some messages are presented to the listener backwards. While listening to a normal forward message (often somewhat nonsensical), one is simultaneously being treated to a back-wards message (in other words, the lyric sounds like one set of words going forward, and a different set of words going backwards). Some experts believe that while the conscious mind is absorbing the forward lyric, the subconscious is working overtime to decipher the backwards message.
Perception of subliminal messages is a type of subconscious cognition. Unlike unconscious tasks such as attending to one signal in a noisy environment while keeping track of other signals (e.g., listening to one voice out of many in a crowded room) and automatic tasks such as breathing, subliminal message cognition cannot be done consciously.
An important question about subliminal perception is: How much of the message is perceived? That is, is the whole message sensed and fully digested or are only its main and simpler features? There are at least two schools of thought about this. One of them argues that only the simpler features of unconscious signals could be perceived. The second school of thought argues that unconscious cognition is comprehensive and that much more is perceived than can be verbalized.
Proponents of the power of subliminal messages claim they can influence people. They circumvent the critical functions of the conscious mind, and therefore subliminal suggestions are potentially more powerful than ordinary suggestions. This route to influence or persuasion would be akin to auto-suggestion or hypnosis. There, the subject is encouraged to be (or somehow induced to be) relaxed so that suggestions are directed to deeper (more gullible) parts of the mind; some observers have suggested that the unconscious mind is incapable of critical refusal of hypnotic or subliminal suggestions.
Critics of the theory
Critics say the effect of subliminal messages would at best be no more than that of a glimpse of a billboard in the corner of an eye. Controlled experiments that attempt to demonstrate the influence of subliminal messages generally find little to no effect (Pratkanis, Anthony R.. “The Cargo-Cult Science of Subliminal Persuasion”, Skeptical Inquirer, Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal, Spring 1992, pp. 260-272. Retrieved on 2006-08-11).
The subconscious mind consists of stored impressions. It is the sum total of our past experiences—what we feel, think, and do—and forms the basis of our experience. The subconscious controls our actions to a far greater degree than any of us would like to admit. Yes, we are the captains of our souls, but people should carefully guard what goes into the mind because as surely as it once went in, with the right stimuli it can be recalled—for better or worse.
How To Become The Loveable You
When you gaze into the mirror, what do you feel? If you think you don’t measure up, you don’t have to forge a new you—just a new image of yourself.
Believe you are whoever you want to be and if you do it long enough you will end up that person. Isn’t that what Archie Leach did? An interviewer once told him, “Everybody would like to be Cary Grant.” Grant is said to have replied, “So would I.” His early years in Bristol, England would have been an ordinary lower-middle-class childhood except for one extraordinary event. At age nine, Archie Leach came home from school one day and was told his mother had gone off to a seaside resort.
The real truth was she had been placed in a mental hospital. The boy who would become one of the most successful Hollywood actors, even Carey Grant, was never told to become Carey Grant, one of Hollywood’s most successful actors. And just as surely, he wasn’t told the truth about his mother, that he wouldn’t even see her again until he was in his late 20s.
If this fate had happened to you or to me would we have rallied our subconscious minds enough to prevail–not just prevail and move on but to succeed far beyond the imagination as did Archie Leach?
Archie Leach became an actor in London with a group known as the Pender boys that in July 1920 went on tour to the US. Their Broadway show, “Good Times,” ran for 456 performances, giving Grant time to acclimatize to the USA and he never left.
Ever the actor, Grant developed a sense of sexuality and the aura and bearing of a gentleman. Grant was young enough to begin the new career of fatherhood when he stopped making movies at age 62. Over the years his own Archie Leach personality left him and he, indeed, did become Carey Grant, the dashing, lovable actor, a man of mystery, intrigue, and good natured suspense. He had invented a man-of-the-world persona and an inimitable style—one that someone called “high comedy with polished words.”
In “To Catch a Thief” (1955), he and Grace Kelly were allowed to improvise some of the dialogue. They knew what Director Alfred Hitchcock wanted to do with a scene. They rehearsed it, put in some clever double entendres, and then the scene was filmed. What you were watching then was what Carey Grant became. He was by then playing himself. His biggest box-office success was another Hitchcock 1950s film, “North by Northwest” (1959) made with Eva Marie Saint that this author and his wife and family thrill to each time we re-see it.
For someone to be lovable, they must love others. How do they do it? Not by saying it, but in their actions.
The easiest way for you to get others to love you is to do what Catherine Ryan Hyde called Pay It Forward. That’s the name of her book and it has to do with gratitude. But it’s forward gratitude—doing something nice for three people before they have a chance to “pay you back.” They, in turn, do nice things each for three other people. Revolutionary idea? No, not really. It is only another way of living Jesus Christ’s injunction to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This is what he meant, but, sadly, it is not how most people live the Golden Rule.
Hyde’s book promotes this simple “advance gratitude” idea that writer Shaun Boyd believes would change the world we live in if everyone did their part.
In order to truly benefit from the power of gratitude, he said, we need to learn to abandon the traditional act of paying people back, and adopt the act of “paying people forward.” Here is a projection of the good it could do:
“The resulting movement becomes large very quickly:
One person helps 3 people.
Those 3 people help 9 others,
and those 9 people help 27 others,
and those 27 people help 81 others,
and those 81 people help 243 others,
and those 243 people help 729 others,
and those 729 people help 2,187 others,
and those 2,187 people help 6,561 others,
and those 6,561 people help 19,683 others…”
Put It In Your Own Context
My wife and daughter actually live this concept every day of the year. Jennifer recently cooked her a large amount of lasagna, a baked dish containing layers of boiled lasagna, and cheese, a seasoned sauce of tomatoes, and meat or vegetables. Since she is single, she took most of it to the office and shared it with others. She does this quite often, and others are starting to notice and have definitely helped her, too.
My book, Attracting Men By Reverse Psychology, of which you are reading several chapters, contains an entire chapter on gratitude. We all should be grateful constantly and express our thanks for all the spiritual and temporal blessings we enjoy. This is an abundant country and a great world in which we live and we are all blessed beyond measure.
Be All That You Can Be
Why we diverged to tell you about a person who became something other than how he started out was to tell you it can be done. It all depends on how you see yourself. Your image of yourself is the only thing that matters.
For example, Egypt’s leader Anwar el-Sadat said: “I was brought up to believe that how I saw myself was more important than how others saw me”. So train yourself to be confident. Love yourself and show it. That’s not showing off or bragging. It’s being.
Men love a confident woman
It’s more important to a man than what she’s wearing, believe it or not. But to a woman, sometimes what she is wearing has a lot to do with her self-image or how she views herself.
If you are to solve the riddle of man, you must first work on self- improvement. Eliminate your negative characteristics. We all have them, except those who have conscientiously shaped a better personality, a better persona, at least in their own minds. and that’s always the place to start.
“Search others for their virtues, thyself for thy vices,” said Benjamin Franklin. “Then work to erase vices out of your life, out of your awareness.” Carve out your own destiny. Remember, the most compelling and powerful women are those who have themselves in their own power. Get control of yourself, then you can control any man you want.
What’s Your Game Plan?
For every classic Mars man there’s another who enjoys swimming up- stream. A woman must never—and I said, NEVER—think that the man standing before her today is the same as last night’s date. As a woman wondering how to approach, overcome, and conquer that male whose every quirky trait attacks her senses, it’s up to you to figure him out before pouncing.
A good tennis, softball or soccer coach knows opposing teams are all different. Coaches spend hours and hours in film rooms. They’re figuring out what kind of a team or opponent she will be facing on Saturday; and, second, how to use her own assets (or her team’s) to best advantage to attack the opponent’s weaknesses and overcome him.
If the player on the (baseball or softball) mound lacks curves, she had better have a fastball and change of pace to compensate. After all is said and done, most men ARE first attracted by the body; but it’s a happy demeanor, character and personality that hooks him and fetches him down the isle.
Believe it or not, when we lined up a very handsome fellow with a certain girl, his main focus was not on looks. He didn’t know what she looked like, but he was more interested in how she acted. He revealed what was on his hard drive when he asked, “Is she nice?”
Dating Is Not A Sparing Match
Girls have a tendency to fight with other girls. Some heady gals even take on their dates. Big mistake! Not that women aren’t equal to the task physically. It’s really just valuable time wastedl, and for what? Pride? That’s not what dating is about. Dating is not a sparing match. It is not a debate. What this man really wanted was a person he could talk to, someone who would not put him down but would laugh at his jokes, stroke and compliment him, maintain eye contact, and be extra nice.
There’s a Camera In His Brain—
Develop A Fetching Way
Barbara Hall said it: “You are in control of your life. Don’t ever forget that. You are what you are because of the conscious and subconscious choices you have made.”
“No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent.”– Eleanor Roosevelt.
Let’s face it, we’re talking sexuality. What drives recognition is inexplicably connected to what drives male-female attraction and love at first sight. Researchers recently did studies of monkeys. Did you know that monkeys and humans recognize faces the same way? Your eyes are only transmitters. There’s a little camera in your brain. The eye actually plays only a small part in vision. Like the camera, all the eye does is deliver a bunch of colored dots. It is in the brain where the real work of “seeing” begins.
Handsome Bronze-skin Man
Imagine seeing a handsome bronze-skin man in blue form-fitting bikini trunks. The first thing you notice is—you know; work your way up and the second thing are his wash-board abdominals, his strong chest and pecs, and, finally, your eye moves up his sun-tanned body to his handsome face and white, toothy smile, then to his fetching eyes.
When you look at someone your eyes are not aware of any of that—it’s your brain that has learned patterns for thousands of different objects like arms, abs, chest, face, and smile. Though your first glimpse was swim trunks and abs, you “knew” a whole man was there.
Had you seen him from a different angle, or from the back, you would have also recognized most of these things. The brain has a way of seeing rotated things as the “same object”, though the dot pattern might be quite different.
Men and Monkeys Have Sex Recognition Signals in Common
Monkeys have the same way of recognizing people and things, though their recognition scheme may not be quite as elaborate and compounded with human body recollections. Remember, all your eyes saw was the dots; it’s your brain that fills in the features. The brain conducts a huge amount of processing on images the eyes send to it. It takes these dot patterns and recognizes them as familiar objects, so your mind can manipulate them.
Each of us has a highly specialized area in the brain that recognizes people. It stores an image of the face of each person we see—or maybe some other part of the body we were impressed with most such as the size of his biceps or thighs, or the symmetrical curvature of his bald head. The brain makes those unique images available, like from a filing system we build with data on each person we know or have ever seen. For each person you see your brain creates a “key field” which when accessed quickly allows you to find (and remember) data stored on that individual—often without even thinking about it. The process is much like entering an address or a name of someone, allowing a computer to bring up a summary of that person on the screen. Face-recognition circuitry isn’t unique in humans. It also exists in monkeys.
Love At First Sight
Have you ever seen someone of the opposite sex for the first time and felt that you had known him or her for many years? In fact, maybe, felt a love for that person for no explainable reason except you liked the face. It’s called love at first sight. It is rare, but it does happen. That is precisely how I fell for my wife of 42 years. I saw her in church from an angle twenty feet away and I have been in love with her ever since.
Does Love At First Sight Exist?
But let’s be absolutely candid. Technically, there is no such thing as love at first sight. All I had that very first moment was an attraction to her. Was it the way she was standing? Her beautifully poised and confident manner of speaking? The aristocratic, patient way she held eye contact as someone was speaking to her? The lovely tilt of her head as she expressed herself, or the sparkle in her eyes and her good looks—her skin and eye color, her clothing? I don’t know. I only know something clicked inside me at that instant.
What is Love?
Many people think of it as mere physical attraction. They casually think of “falling in love’ and “love at first sight” as end-alls. Obviously, they’re not—they are only the beginning of love. Physical attraction is only one of the many elements—there must be confidence, faith, understanding, partnership, and sacrifice. There must be many years of devotion and companionship before true love develops. There must be common ideals and standards.
“…there must be great devotion and companionship. Love is cleanliness and progress and sacrifice and selflessness. This kind of love never tires or wanes, but lives through sickness and sorrow, poverty and privation, accomplishment and disappointment, time and eternity.
“For love to continue, there must be an increase constantly of confidence and understanding, of frequent and sincere expression of appreciation and affection. There must be a forgetting of self and a constant concern for the other. Interests, hopes, objectives must be constantly focused into a single channel…” (Spencer W. Kimball, Teachings of Presidents of the Church, 2006 by Intellectual Reserve, Inc.).
Most people get married without really knowing who they are marrying or just how big of a commitment they are making. Many marry before they even know themselves very well. When the reality of it all hits them, they are either stuck in a bad marriage for life, or they get a divorce. There are too many divorces of people who thought they were in love. Pollster Louis Harris has said one in eight marriages fail. This results in a terrible strain on the children—the real victims of divorce.
As far as love marriages go, there is this crazy idea that 1 of every 2 marriages fail. “Pollster Louis Harris has written, “The idea that half of American marriages are doomed is one of the most specious pieces of statistical nonsense ever perpetuated in modern times.”
“It all began when the Census Bureau noted that during one year, there were 2.4 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces. Someone did the math without calculating the 54 million marriages already in existence, and presto, a ridiculous but quotable statistic was born. “Harris concludes, “Only one out of eight marriages will end in divorce. In any single year, only about 2 percent of existing marriages will break up.”
If you want statistics, look up on Ask.com or sites like that where you can get published numbers. Why ask us? We know no more than you :).
A friend of mine said “as for me, I have a firl friend that could not be more opposite than me. older/younger, white/brown, Christian/Hindu, American/Indian ……. getting the idea? We had to find each other as no one would/could have arranged or foretold (including astologers) that we would have found each other.
If you are having your marriage fixed and are happy with whom you are being fixed with, then go for it. If not, look for someone yourself.
Back to the Physical Attraction
What causes you to like someone at first glance? Experts tell us that people are attracted to the opposite sex by many things, but one of the most important is facial and body balance. So, you see, there is something you CAN do to make someone become attracted to you. It has to do witho outward appearances because love at first sight is a powerful impresion. You are a saleswoman for yourself. Selling the first impression someone has of you is vitally important. It will likely be the most lasting impression, so make it a good one.