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>Circus Clowns, Trapeze Artists, and The Big Top

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Undercurrents:
Say What You Don’t Mean! Huh?

Don White
Everyone is so dishonest and devious today! I read this article by Lisa Riley Roche in the Deseret News, If this had been published in any paper besides that one I wouldn’t have believed it. See how biased we become.

But I just gotten through reading part of a book by Andy Borowitz, humorist for the New Yorker called Who Moved My Soap? Which is straight satire about locked up CEOs. It starts by saying his 84-page book is fiction, which satire is…

I was in the mood for a laugh, then I read the Roche article which suggests that Karl Rove wants to help Mitt Romney get the VP nod from McCain but is going about it “bass-akwards” to throw people off. Oh, yeah! The indirect approach, works every time.

When we were kids we used to ask for something we didn’t want just to turn our parents onto giving us the opposite. For example, one time I would have given my two front teeth for the chance to go to the circus with my dad. I went around all day saying, “I really don’t like the circus. Other boys like to go to the circus with their dads; but me? I hate the circus. I don’t want to go to the circus with my Dad. No, there’ll be no circus for me. I hate circus peanuts, coke, hotdogs, carmeled apples, popcorn, and ice cream.

No, watching the trapeze artists fly through the air with the greatest of east is too scary. I hate seeing the lions and tigers. They poop all over and it smells. I don’t like the clowns with their sad, painted faces, or the beautiful girls dressed in almost nothing. Or the muscle men, flame eater, the magicians, and the guy who gets shot through the air by a real cannon. Nope, no fun for me. I’m a sedate child. I’d have a fit if I saw all that worldly stuff. Nope, you won’t find me asking for my Dad to take me places.

You can just lock me up in a windowless room with nothing but a table, a chair, a bed, a couch, a toilet and 10 cases of bottled water. I would not leave that room until everyone else who was having fun had returned from the circus. That way my parents can save enough money to afford to feed me for a week.

Of course, after that elaborate charade I ended up going to the circus with my pop and enjoyed it a lot.

But what about all the lying in the world? This former White House strategist Karl Rove, for example? They say he may be trying some new political tricks to help fellow Republican Mitt Romney secure the party’s vice presidential nomination.

Remember, Rove’s the smart guy who left his post as a top adviser to President Bush last year and now.does color on Fox News. Like I know what “color” is, except it must be like a baseball color man who doesn’t call the action, he just gives the inside opinions and stupid little stories. That’s color.

Rove must have had a dreary childhood like mine. He mustuve learned the same lessons I learned—you ask for exactly what you don’t want and you end up getting what you want. Sounds crazy, right? But it works every time.

Here’s why I know about Rove. Lately, he has been blurting out that Romney turned in an “uneven performance” in his own failed presidential bid, saying the former leader of the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City made mistakes because of his limited political experience and that Romney criticized Bush.

Good, huh? This way he makes him look like an outsider. That’s what the election is all about this time. Both sides want to look like outsiders so they can make changes they think people want. Insiders can’t do that.

I know what’s going on. You talk tough about Romney’s flaws and you boost his chances of being chosen vice president by distancing him from an unpopular Bush administration.

But he’s got to be careful criticizing Romney, saying he made the mistake of being critical of Bush, you actually link him to President Bush. You don’t want to do that to someone you actually want” to promote as vice president. Most importantly, you’ve got to make sure Romney is not portrayed by others as the candidate handpicked for McCain by Karl Rove.

Mild criticism of Romney by Rove is intended to separate Romney from the administration. You don’t want to hug him too closely, If you hug him too closely, you suffocate him.

Rove is being careful not to actually endorse Romney for just that reason.
He is first to realize his endorsement could carry unwanted baggage. A positive political analysis from Rove is very helpful while an endorsement might be the kiss of death.

Romney should feel a sense of encouragement from Bush and his closest advisers, including Rove. Bush waited until the GOP nomination was settled before endorsing McCain.

Who knows what Karl Rove is up to? He usually is thinking a few chess moves ahead with every comment. No one has been more outspoken that Mitt Romney is the best possible vice presidential candidate for McCain.

Professor Matthew Wilson of Southern Methodist University in Dallas said Romney should avoid too close a tie to Rove. “Mitt Romney certainly doesn’t want to be seen as Karl Rove’s creature,” said Wilson, who specializes in religion and politics.

Wilson suggested Rove may be coming across as critical of Romney because he is concerned that McCain isn’t listening to him.

Rove told the Television Critics Association press tour in Beverly Hills on Monday that while Romney probably had the best campaign organization of any Republican candidate, he failed to connect with voters.

And last month, Rove made it a point on “Fox News Sunday” to offer a list of Romney’s flaws even as he praised him for his executive experience in business and as a former governor of Massachusetts, as well as with the Olympics.

“This is the guy who talked about environments and marching with Martin Luther King and so forth. And there’s also the Mormon problem, which was really sort of astonishing to me,” said Rove, who grew up in Utah.

The Mormon “problem” that Rove described was the negative reaction some voters had to Romney’s membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the idea of a Mormon president.

Wilson said Romney’s faith is only a “minor factor” in considering whether he should be the vice presidential nominee. “It is not irrelevant, but it’s not as important as the person at the top of the ticket,” the Texas professor said.
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